The Secret to "Worry-Free" parenting. (Disclaimer: It's not what you think)
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Everyday, I try to imagine the experiences, struggles, choices, pain, hurt and highlights each of my kids will have to face in life. What new experiences will Seth have when he goes to kindergarten in a few months? What will he do when he's hurt and I'm not there to comfort him? What types of friends and conversations will Miya have in 1st grade? What if she gets rejected? How is Levi going to handle peer pressure in 5th grade? Will he finally overcome some of his fears and how?
What about high school? What types of memories will they have there? Will they become responsible adults? What type of worker, husband, wife and parent will they be?
When I think of these things, it turns to worry and fear. Everything in me wants to control every experience, every situation, and every event. If I could choose a super power, I would choose being able to freeze time anywhere anytime. This way, I could freeze time every time they are about to get hurt or make the wrong choices and fix it. Or maybe I could be like the Flash and have super speed so that I could correct every move they make before they could even make it.
But tonight, I'm reminded that the most important thing I could do right now is to always point them to the one they need the most, Jesus.
I will not be there in every event. I will not know every hurt. I will not be able to comfort them every time they need me. And to be honest, I will never have all the answers to their questions. It's impossible! As much as I would like to control every thing, I honestly don't think that every word I say and action I take would be perfect either.
Tonight, I'm reminded that my sole calling as a mom is not to protect them but to lead them to Jesus because he can handle everything. Tonight, I'm reminded that to have full peace about my kid's everyday life and future is to entrust them to the one who will always be there with them always, anytime, anywhere and 24/7.
Right now, my call as a mom is to make Jesus real to them everyday. To show them that they have a God who is not far away. They have a God who is alive and at move every day not just in our family's life but in the life of people around us. My call as a mom is to teach them to trust in the Lord always. My call as a mom is to teach them talk to Jesus about everything. My call as a mom is to point them to Jesus so that they will know who to run to in every season of their life. Right now I'm to, as much as I could, teach them this verse:
"Your kids will never be what they're suppose to be if they lack God-consciousness. God has met you, so that you would be ready to introduce his glory and grace to our children. Every day is filled with opportunities to point to God, maybe in the fact that water boils, that leaves turn, and the sun comes up in the morning." (Paul Tripp, Parenting)
I'm also reminded that these are easily taught through words. But the best way kids learn is through example. They watch how I handle things. They watch what I do and say. They watch if I'm running to Jesus when I'm frustrated. They are watching if I'm reading my bible. They are watching if I'm living a life of worship.
Tonight, I'm reminded that I myself need Jesus everyday. To receive that peace, is to be near Jesus. To exchange fear with faith, is to be near Jesus. To have trust in the unknown future, is to be near Jesus. So that when I do think about the experiences my kids will have now and in the future, I will not picture hurt and confusion, I will and can picture Jesus with them. And with this picture, this mommas heart is at peace.
Here's a few parenting books you could try.
Here are my other blog posts you could read as well.